Due to the submarine-like nature of working on a PhD, my blog writings have been sparse if not wholly absent. I am now, however, surfacing and working away on ideas for the next stone with the grand and insightful assistance of Karen Christopher.
Although I am in the process of researching the fourth stone's location, I wanted to write up a little note that I just found in a journal that I was keeping in February of this year when I was staying in London. I wrote:
"Sometimes it takes more courage to not know than to know prematurely. Remaining with the not knowing is uncomfortable, difficult: it suggests a failure or an inability. Truthfully though, at this point I simply do not know what to do next."
I wonder if our ability to sit with failure mightn't be a more successful strategy than continually grinding forth mantras about the need to succeed or how we deserve to succeed. An inability to act might, on numerous occasions, induce a greater degree of reflection and a more realistic appraisal of things to come. Also, it introduces us to our great capacity for human fallibility and this is necessary and a significant part of what we consider to be intelligence.
Just think of what's happening in the Deepwater Horizon oil well at the moment -
the push to progress, to make something happen - or 'drill, baby, drill' in this instance - now reveals a remarkable lack of foresight as to what the difficulties of drilling in deep water might be.
And so, I have been with my uncomfortable not knowing for quite some time now - and it has indeed been uncomfortable and at one point even led me to consider giving back the funding I had received from the Arts Council.
Things are now moving in a more definite direction however - and there will be news of this very soon!
Happy Solstice to anyone who might still read this most infrequent of blogs....X